The “free love” life style is not for me
I’ve recently come back to Australia after a pilgrimage in Europe where I had several experiences that made me realise the importance of aligning myself with friends, teachers, community who share the same values as me.
Our inner circle matters.
Who we are receiving guidance and advice from matters.
Twice on my journey I found myself in icky situations with men who I’d been intimate with (within my personal boundary of no penetrative sex before relationship commitment).
And through these experiences I learnt some really valuable lessons:
The free love, polyamory, neo trantric “every body love everybody”/ sharing is caring life style is NOT for me.
When we open up our hearts and Eros too quickly we end up sharing ourselves with men we literally do not know. This can lead to disappointment when our expectations and assumptions of who they are and what their values are, are not met.
Containment is one of my highest values. I appreciate and resonate with people who can hold themselves in their impulses. Who can contain their erotic energy, words, emotions, desires. (Aka the opposite of leakiness that I’ve seen cause so much confusion, disharmony and even harm in relating). And I believe this is a quality that is missing from most neo tantric / sacred sexuality spaces.
There are countless ways to play erotically without receiving a man’s cock (and energy and consciousness) into our most precious and sacred of spaces.
Aaand due to the biological bonding nature of women, sharing Eros with a man, even just through a kiss or other forms of intimacy, can be heart opening in such a way that it creates an energetic chord as well as an oxytocin fog of delusion, fantasy and yearning on her part. No matter how obvious it is that the man and woman are not aligned.
You gotta pay to play and it’s important we are aware of the cost of our decisions, and the truth of our biology as women so we can navigate intimacy with discernment. So we can play, if it is rightful, and not get swept up in fantasy that scatters our focus and depletes our energy.
The people I’ve come across in my life I consider to be the most powerful are super contained. Are self knowing. Sovereign. Are unfuckwithable. Can see through delusion and illusion. Are clean and crisp in their exchanges and communication. Are transparent yet know what to keep private. And have an inner circle and team of potent trusted advisors. These are the qualities I endeavour to embody as a leader and a woman. And this is the direction I intend to take my clients.
